So your long-term relationship ended, and you’re wondering if you’re ready to date again. Getting over a breakup can be hard; getting back in the dating scene doesn’t have to be. Here are some signs you’re ready to start something new.
1. You Have Neutral Feelings About Your Ex
Congrats! You’re no longer in love with your ex, hoping you’ll get back together. Bonus points: You have no bitter feelings about your ex either. You’re in neutral. You feel the same way about your ex as you would any stranger on the street. This is a great place to be because letting them go is the only way to build a healthy relationship with someone new.
I remember when my parents started to ask about my ex after not talking about him for a year and I could finally answer their questions with no grieving in my heart or bitterness in my mind.
2. You Have Let the Past Go
You’ve stopped reliving the past and wondering what went wrong. You’ve grieved the relationship’s ending. You’ve processed what happened, learned from your mistakes and moved on. There is no anger or pain, but an excitement about life.
You realize that being free from the past is the only way to enjoy today and be open for adventure in the future. I remember waking up one morning and just feeling joy that I would get to be in a relationship and know what to do and what not to do.
3. You Like Yourself
You feel great about yourself! You like who you are right now. Your self-esteem isn’t dependent on your relationship status. In fact, you’re happy single. When you can enjoy yourself, you know that you’re not seeking a new relationship to fill a void.
Recently, a guy asked me why I wasn’t in a relationship. I told him that I was open to dating, but I wanted to make sure I was at a good place being alone so that I would not be depending on someone else to make me happy in a relationship.
4. You Are Excited About Something New
The thought of dating doesn’t fill you with anxiety or stress, but it excites you! The prospect of a new relationship brings a smile to your face. You’re open for an adventure and willing to put yourself out there. The next relationship may not be the one, but you’re willing to take a risk anyhow. For several months after my big breakup I nervous about dating, but now I am excited about meeting someone new and going out on dates.
5. You Know What You Want and What You Don’t Want
Having an idea of what you want and what you don’t want in a new relationship is a sign that you’re ready to date. For instance, I have a clear idea of what my deal-breakers are, and I’d rather be single than compromise on those. This is a good indication for me that my motive for dating isn’t that the clock is ticking or that I’m bored, but that I want to live life to the fullest. Sometimes being open to inviting someone else into your life is part of a full life.
Your last relationship is completely over. Your heart has healed. The past no longer has a hold on you, and when you think of your ex, you can smile and move on. You’ve assessed your mistakes and have learned from them, and you know what you want and what you don’t want in your next relationship. You love your life, and the idea of dating excites you because you’re looking forward to inviting someone new into your world. If this describes you, then you are ready to date!