How to Reset Your Mind After a Relationship Ends

When I broke up with my partner of two years, I thought the world was crashing down around me. How could I possibly live without them? What’s wrong with me? Am I going to be forever alone? These were the thoughts racing through my mind within the first five minutes after the breakup. I realized just how invested I was in this person and  that I had to learn how to live on my own again.

After going on an emotional rampage for a few days, I took a much-needed nap and finally asked myself, “What’s next?” That’s when I decided negative thoughts and petty post-relationship moves weren’t going to consume me, I would not be one of those people that stalks his ex while eating too much ice cream. Here’s how I managed to get through a really rough breakup.

Accept that you can’t change your past

Remember that your past is always there, but you can’t change it (unless you somehow have a time machine, in which case, please let me know). Why dwell on something that’s fixed in time, something that causes you heartache and misery? I remember feeling a wave of hope pass over me after realizing this, so I set out on a mission to always look forward and never look back. I spent extra time bonding with family and friends, which helped to remind me of who I was as a person, and while some people in life are temporary, your family and friends are here to stay.

Make a playlist

Music is food for your soul, so feed it happy and inspirational songs! The night of the split, I made a playlist full of breakup songs. This was a form of therapy for me, a cleansing for my soul that reminded me it’s okay to hurt, it’s okay to feel these feelings, and everything I’m experiencing is completely normal. That was just phase one. After coming to terms with what had happened, the playlist transitioned into something a bit more worldly and uplifting. Songs that promote world peace, have deeper meaning, and offer a message that I personally connect to. I was able to rewire my brain for a positive, happy-go-lucky mindset and diminish some of the anger I felt over the breakup.

Do something different

Staying busy is key to getting over a bad breakup. For me, it was the motivation behind becoming a healthier person. I began to watch what I was putting in my body, and exercise more. What I didn’t realize is that doing so would cause me to lose five pounds and feel more energetic and full of life! Now, I’m a passionate health enthusiast. After a breakup, I recommend trying something that keeps you busy but also benefits your health. That could be joining a gym, taking a yoga class, or planning healthy meals for the week.

Don’t stalk their social media accounts!

Trust me, I did it a lot, and I regret it completely. The last thing you want to see is a photo of your ex having a good time without you. I had the displeasure of coming across my ex in town about three months after the breakup, and the first thing I did after fleeing the scene was stalk Facebook and Instagram, which prompted me to immediately fall back into a pit of despair and sorrow. If anything – block them from your mind (and social media) until you’re over them completely. This will help you reset your mind to adapting to life without this person. In order to move on from the relationship in a healthy way, you can’t have constant reminders of your ex in your life.

Remember: Your feelings are temporary

As mentioned before, some people are temporary presences in your life – that’s just how the universe works. What’s important is that we learn to forgive, move forward with our lives, and forget with time. Instead of focusing on all the negative feelings you’re experiencing right now, look around and make note of the positive, think about what you learned from the relationship and accept that not every relationship works out.

If you’re currently going through a bad breakup, I’m sorry. I understand how you feel, and it’s awful! Know that you’re not alone and that everyone has experienced heartache in one way or another at some point. I’ve been single for more than a year now and I couldn’t be happier. I’m more focused on my work, and I’m determined to make my dreams of becoming a journalist a reality. If someone nice comes along, I might dive into a relationship with them, but only because I’ve learned from my past experiences. Stay strong, everyone!

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