We’ve all had that one friend who mysteriously vanished when a romantic relationship started — or we were that friend. It’s awkward if the relationship ends and you’re now distant from your once-close friends. Here’s a guide on how not to be that friend.
Include Your Friends on Dates
Going out with the new date, bring a friend or two along and make it a group activity. It will help you stay connected to your friends, and you’ll get a chance to see your date interact with more than just you and your waitress. Your friends will feel included and possibly provide you with feedback on your new date as well. If you have friends who are also dating someone, make it a habit of going on double-dates.
Going on double-dates with my friends was a way I made sure that I saw my friends while I was getting to know someone new. It was a lot of fun and helped keep our friendship strong as we were both getting to know someone new.
Set Weekly Time Aside to See Your Friends
If letting your friend tag along on your dates isn’t for you, then set some weekly time aside to hang out with your friends. The same ways you spent time establishing your friendships are what you should do to maintain those relationships. Plus, staying connected to your friends will keep your life balanced so you’re not overly consumed with your new date.
I had a friend who stopped hanging out with a few other friends and me when she got a new boyfriend. As soon as they broke up, she started coming back around, but by that time months had passed — the friendship was awkward and didn’t survive.
Call Or Text Often
If you can’t set aside weekly time to see your friends, at least call and text them often. Your friends want to be included in your life and to feel loved and cared about. So make it a point to see how they are and let them know how you’re doing. Continue to get to know your friends like you are getting to know the person you’re currently dating.
When I start dating someone new, I always make it a point to talk on the phone with my close friends nearly as much as we talked before I entered the new relationship, and it helps maintain our closeness.
Share Your Goals With Your Friends And Your New Date
If you want to be sure to maintain a great relationship with your friends while getting to know your new date, openly share this goal with them. This way your friends will hold you accountable, and they’ll feel good that you’re keeping them a priority. This also lets your new date know that you are a whole and complete person and your life won’t be revolving around dating them.
Your friends love you and allow you to be your true self around them; they care about you, enourage you and are always there for you. Great friendships take time to build and effort to maintain, so be intentional about nourishing your friendships even when adding someone new to your life. If this new relationship works out, great — you’ll have friends to be in your wedding party. But if it doesn’t work out, then at least you’ll still have friends.