“Oh no,” I said to myself after sending an impulsive text to a guy I was interested in. My heart was beating fast and my face was flushed with anticipation as those three dots lit up in iMessage.
I stared at my phone for five minutes before asking myself, “What the heck am I doing? Could I be any more obsessed?” Here I was waiting for someone I had just met a couple weeks ago to text me back.
Crushes have a way of making us feel on top of the world one minute then bringing us crashing down the next, like a rollercoaster of emotions. As a seasoned professional, I’ve learned that as we get more and more emotionally involved, crushes can be devastating experiences — even though looking back they seem so trivial.
Here’s my best advice on how not to get crushed by a crush:
1. Stop looking at social media
I can promise you that there is nothing new on your crush’s feed, or at least nothing worth your time. Checking someone’s Facebook page can start off innocent enough and spiral into a downright bad habit. Break this addiction the same way as any other: Recognize there’s a problem and actively stopping yourself before going to his page. You’ll feel so much better and will stop feeling jealous of a girl in a picture with him from three years ago. There are even plugins or apps to keep your crush’s name from appearing on your newsfeed, such as Eternal Sunshine.
2. Think about why you’re sending that text
When you really like someone, all you want to do is talk to them. Texting is a dangerous game, and if you’re not in the right state of mind, then that text is not going to go over well. Make sure you’re in a good mood before you press send. Really look at your true motivations. Is it for attention? Is it because you’re mad? Just pause for a minute to reflect on why you’re sending that text and what you expect to get out of it.
3. But don’t overthink…
I know–easier said than done! You will only upset yourself if you overanalyze every single thing you do or say. Once you send a text, forget about it. What’s done is done, and you can’t take it back. It’s the same thing as questioning yourself on an exam. Once you change your answer, you’ll never stop doubting yourself.
4. Live Your Own Life
Remember that your first priority is you. Make a list of everything you want to accomplish this week. Do you like reading? Do you like playing guitar? Do those things! You’ll become so caught up in doing what you love that you won’t be thinking about your crush all the time. Planning your day around someone else is a sure way to get disappointed quickly. There have been many times I went out of my way just for the chance of “accidentally” running into someone. I maybe ran into them one time out of a hundred? Don’t dress to the nines just in case that person might see you. Giving someone that kind of power over your emotions is dangerous and will only lead to disappointment.
5. Listen to empowering music
Put on your favorite jam and enjoy yourself! Wallowing in sad love songs is not the way to stop obsessing about someone. Put on some Beyonce or Kanye and release your inner confidence. Be reminded of how awesome you are all on your own. Plus, fun music is an easy way to boost your mood.