Over the course of my career, I’ve left three jobs, and each departure comes with its own medley of excitement, sadness, nerves, and occasionally guilt. I’ve left places that weren’t a great fit for me and places I loved dearly, and both times were just as hard. Resigning is never easy, but I’m grateful for how the experiences have helped me grow professionally. I’m grateful to still be in touch with former coworkers, and I think departing gracefully played a role in maintaining those relationships. Read on for my best tips on how to leave your position with grace and bridges intact!
Share the news yourself, face-to-face
In the workplace, word spreads fast, especially at smaller organizations (like my most recent one)! Knowing this, I staggered my announcements by notifying chattier coworkers once I had already made most of my rounds. This helped prevent the news from spreading before I had a chance to share it myself.
It was important to me to share the news one-on-one. This is something I (begrudgingly) got into the practice of at my first job out of college. My boss gently recommended notifying each member of my team, face-to-face, that I was moving on — all 17 of them!
Although it was out of my comfort zone, I’m so glad I did it this way. Mustering the courage to pull each member of the team aside (even the senior ones) to share my news personally and directly helped me find my voice and “own” my story. If your job is remote, some ways to notify people face-to-face might be piggybacking on existing meetings (i.e., asking people to stay on for a few extra minutes at the end because you have some news to share.) You could also message coworkers individually/in small groups to ask for a few minutes to video chat.
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Keep your messaging consistent, honest, and professional
Be sure to use consistent and professional messaging when sharing your news. While it can be tempting to give your close coworkers the #tea — or a piece of your mind — try biting your tongue in the wake of your announcement. Keeping your story straight across the board helps minimize potential gossip or chatter. People will inevitably speculate, and telling half-truths (or selectively sharing full-truths) adds fuel to the fire.
Even when I left a workplace I considered toxic, I was sure to keep my messaging upbeat and forward-looking, with the emphasis on my new opportunity, not my departure. I shared excitement about a shorter commute, a smaller organization, and the chance to focus my role on specific things I was interested in (at the time, event planning).
There will be a time and place to be honest about your reasons for leaving, and that is most likely on your last day over drinks with work besties, not Jim from finance.
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Leave your team in a (realistically) good place
My most recent departure coincided with a large project I was best suited to carry out during my final few weeks. At the same time, my manager had also asked me to create a job manual or “hand-off” document to leave behind for whoever stepped into my role.
As a result of working on the final project, my hand-off document wasn’t as robust as I would have liked. I made sure my manager understood the situation and was transparent with her about what I could realistically deliver before my last day. Rather than a 10-page instructional document, I pulled together five pages of notes.
Establishing clear communication and setting boundaries at work can be nerve-wracking, but it ends up saving disappointment in the end. My last few weeks were a chance to finish strong and leave a lasting impression, and the last thing I wanted was to over-promise and under-deliver.
Stay in touch, for real!
It might seem corny, but sending a farewell email to your organization is a nice way to close the loop on your time there, and provide opportunities to stay in touch. In the past, I’ve included my personal email address and LinkedIn profile as ways to keep in touch. For closer colleagues, I’ll write a handwritten note and include my cell number at the bottom (if they don’t already have it).
In the weeks/months after departing the organization, I’ll make an effort to hold up my end of the staying-in-touch-bargain by occasionally reaching out to former coworkers. While a gossip sesh can be tempting, I try to steer clear of anything that might skew negative. For example, wishing them luck on events or projects planned before I left (“good luck with the board meeting this week; I know you’ll be amazing!”), asking about traditions (“how was the Christmas party this year?”), or checking in about their life/family (“is Amelia adjusting to Pre-K?”).
The steps to leave a job gracefully can sometimes feel cumbersome or intimidating, but the extra effort is worth it to hold onto relationships and keep your reputation intact. You never know when paths will cross again!