The first time I moved home from college for the summer, it was not easy. I remember waking up the next morning on the verge of tears, worrying how I would build a new routine. My poor parents weren’t sure what to do. My college had quickly become my new home, and my new friends my second family. It was difficult for me to leave them and transition back into my childhood home. I felt like a girl between worlds.
While I was away at college, my family moved on without me, which was really jarring. I had been a part of this family unit for 18 years and now that I had left for college, they all created new routines that didn’t involve me.
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Of course, this was totally normal. I had also created new routines and habits while away at school. However, the fact that my family could efficiently exist without me there upset me. My childhood room, once a place of comfort and solace, now represented a previous version of myself that I had outgrown. It took me weeks to transition that summer by combining routines from both home and school to make me feel comfortable. I noticed the following transitions during school breaks were just as difficult.
Today, I have several summer moves under my belt. Now as I transitioned home for the summer before my senior year, I moved back without any breakdowns. Here are my tips to make those transitional times not as scary:
Make a list
The Notes app on my phone is filled with lists. I’ve always found making lists helpful, so in the weeks leading up to the transition back home, I make a list of what I am looking forward to. I heard my peers mention dreams of a home-cooked meal or sleeping in their own bed in the days leading up to a break from school. I decided to write them down to remember them better. This helps me focus on the good things coming my way. From enjoying home-cooked meals to running in the park by my house, to going on errands with my brother, I try to write down all the small things that excite me about returning home.
This also works when I don’t want to return to school for another busy semester. I write down how excited I am to see my friends and my favorite professors or new restaurants or coffee shops I want to try near my college. I reread and remember all the things I am excited about when I feel my heartstrings pull during the transitional period. This helps me remember how lucky I am to have all these amazing happy things.
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Communicate
After I discovered my difficult time with transitions, I let my support system know. I tell my parents and friends when I am having a hard time, and let them know how they could help me. So when I feel unmoored, my mom and I will run to Marshalls for a quick shopping trip, or my boyfriend will get me a coffee to cheer me up. Having your support system aware you are struggling can help you feel less unsteady while transitioning.
Treat yourself
I love treats. Admittedly too much. When it comes to transitional stages where I feel uneasy, I remember to first and foremost, treat myself with kindness. Sometimes, treating myself means purchasing a new cute coffee cup or blue light glasses. Other times, it means creating a space for relaxation and peace.
So whenever I transition back into my childhood room, I adjust to make myself feel more comfortable. Sometimes that means changing the photos on the walls, rearranging my furniture, or going to HomeGoods. Allowing myself something that will make me smile or be more comfortable helps me feel more grounded.
Stay connected
Most of my friends from college live hours away. Especially in the summer, I sometimes work too hard and unintentionally become a hermit. I combat this by reaching out to friends to check in on how their summer is going. Sometimes this leads to an hourlong catch-up call. Other times this leads to driving hours (or even flying) to visit. It’s important to foster the connections you have in college throughout the summer. This summer I took the train into NYC to meet up with friends after they finish work.
Pick up a new hobby
One of the great things about coming home for the summer is the ability to cultivate new hobbies (I put this on my aforementioned list, by the way). Over the summers, I have found fun new ways to fill my extra time. This could be a new workout routine: Running at sunset is my favorite activity in the summer. Or it could be planting your own tomatoes or flowers. This will be the second summer I’ve planted morning glories!
I’ve also enjoyed getting into crafts like making friendship bracelets, and more recently, punch-needling. Reading and trying new recipes are also great ways to fill time. I know some friends who have started a long-distance summer book club! In the summer, I also have more time for my faith life and get to go to daily Mass. There are so many ways to fill your summer with things you enjoy.
Be patient
Adapting to a new routine in your childhood home with your new college habits can take time. Don’t rush the process. Slowly start bringing your college stuff into your room. Slowly start figuring out how the transition is affecting you. It can be frustrating to feel out of place when you feel you should be adapting flawlessly. Remember to take care of yourself. Take a deep breath, and remember that it will be okay.
Moving between two different worlds for short bursts of time can be challenging. It’s important to listen to yourself and be intentional about preparing for change. It will only make transitions smoother in the future!