As tax season winds down, finances seem to be on everyone’s mind, or, decidedly out of mind. About five years ago, I remember being especially stressed about if I did my taxes correctly. A friend of mine asked, “Have you prayed about it?” I scoffed. “I don’t want to bother God with my money problems.” My friend smiled and suggested I might want to simply ask for help: “It can’t hurt. Tell me what happens.” So, I did. In my own way, I asked God “What is your will for my finances?” And then I kept telling my friend what happened. Our regular exchanges turned into a safe space for me to process my financial concerns and grow in confidence in making financial decisions. Here is some of the wisdom I have received from our conversations:
Begin daily non-judgmental record keeping.
When a friend first suggested I simply write down a daily record of what I earned in a day and what I spent, I immediately generated ways to confuse myself: “First, I need to calculate how much per day I’m getting paid, then how many taxes come out of my paycheck, then—” “No,” they told me, “Write down when money comes to you — in dollars into your account or cash in hand — and when money leaves you. This is called recordkeeping.”
I started with a memo pad. After I bought a coffee, I stepped to the side, flipped the memo pad open, and wrote “4/27/24 – Coffee – $3.25.” On payday, I wrote “4/27/24 – [Employer] – $1347.85.” The recordkeeping is not meant to be results-oriented. It’s a method of observing my behavior to understand my habits without judgment. Spiritually, it is an invitation into deep humility, observing and reporting my own humanness. It’s kind of like imagining myself as God might see you: totally human and totally fine.
Start where you are and do the next right thing.
But how could I achieve the kind of unconditional non-judgment God might have toward me if I am such a perfectionist? “Just start where you are and do the next right thing,” my friend suggested. “Don’t look back and correct the mistakes of the past. When you notice them, just plan differently for next time.”
On that note, reader, I promise you: You will forget to record something. You will make calculation errors. When you realize this, just record the next entry correctly. Practice compassion when you make a mistake and want to punish yourself for not tracking your numbers.
Have a spiritual conversation with friends (and with God!)
I grew up believing God and money did not mix, because if God loved the poor more than other people – which is what I was taught and still arguably believe is true – it logically followed that money was not something God wanted us to have. But as I’ve spiritually matured, I’ve learned to test my own assumptions with prayer and honest sharing. When I realized there was a very important area of my life I was keeping hidden from God, I made a concerted effort to talk with God about money, simply asking him to show me the kind of relationship he wanted me to have with my finances.
This created a natural urge to share my thoughts about money more openly. I began sharing with friends with whom I felt safe expressing feelings, and with whom I shared mutual respect and an acknowledgment that God is real. We made the request explicit: “Do you want to talk about money and God together?” I found it helpful to make a mutual agreement not to give each other advice but to hold space and deeply listen as we shared. From these conversations, I gained a place to heal and process so much fear and shame that was bound up in my relationship with money.
I hope these words will be a launchpad for conversations about money, and spark curiosity about some of these habits. The way the material affects the spiritual is very mysterious and not all of it might work for you. But I do know that once you begin to consciously connect God and money you can expect big changes in your mind, spirit, and material world.